A profile about your girlfriend is like
peeing...everyone sees it, but only you and her can feel the warmth...WEIRDOS.
If an away
message is posted on the Internet, but noone ever reads it, did that person ever really go
away?
Sometimes
when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and
think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than
be selfish and worry about my own dreams."
Beer makes
people smarter. Think about it...it made Bud wiser.
Dance as if
no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and leave every away message as if
it were your last.
Hi, I'm sorry I’m not here right now. If you’d like to leave a message please
press 2, then 4, then 345 then type 'Yes, I am this lame.'
I'm at work
now. Something to think about while you wait for me to get back: A train station is where
the train stops, right? And a bus station is where the bus stops, right? Well, on my desk,
I have a work station...
If I am
away, you should get a message saying:
Right now
I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. |
